I can see where impact play would add a nice extra dimension to the single man's repertoire, but there is no way in god's green earth I would leave physical marks on another person. Just imagine if you had an argument with your play partner, who then calls the police and accuses you of violence. You are toast. The male is automatically at fault in any kind of domestic situation.
I hope you have a good lawyer on speed dial. Or maybe in OZ (IIRC that's where you are) women aren't as crazy in the USA. Here in the states men are afraid to even approach in public, let alone get into impact play, lest they get put on social media blast or worse
You raise an excellent point! If social media is any indication, Australia hasn't yet matched the US on the crazy scale, but #believeallwomen is a prominent theme. Just this week we've had a senator accuse a colleague of sexual assault (although by her own description he just made her feel uncomfortable due to an unwelcome advance), and the media circus around another political staffer who accused a colleague of raping her in their boss's office continues to unfold thanks largely to her decision to try the case in the media rather than honouring well-established legal principles intended to preserve the integrity of the justice system.
On the other hand, we've also recently seen justice prevail where a man facing charges of raping his former girlfriend was acquitted after the court saw the text messages she had sent to both him and her friends shortly after the alleged incident that made it clear that everything had been consensual at the time.
With this in mind, you definitely want to establish a high level of trust before experimenting with more intense forms of impact play (or any other form of BDSM), regardless whether you leave a mark. If there's any chance of facing cross-examination by a journalist or lawyer asking "did you lay a hand on this woman?" you may not have the opportunity to explain the nuances of consent, and in any case, the baying mob doesn't care about facts if they undermine the outrage.
A couple of precautions I'd recommend:
* treat negotiation as foreplay, and perform some of it via text. This helps to build anticipation, and ideally will capture evidence of enthusiastic participation
* if you have any doubt about a partner's enthusiasm to participate, assume you don't have consent.
* people who like to receive bruises and marks usually take pride in them and like to show them off as they fade. It's a little more difficult to claim assault after texting a photo of a bruised buttock with words indicating how much she enjoyed it and can't wait to do it again. Take care with this though, because someone with weaker self-esteem may show the wrong friend, who then shames her into changing her mind about how consensual the experience was.
* Extend aftercare to include checking in the following day - again ideally by text. A message about how much you enjoyed your date and asking how she felt about it can be helpful in eliciting a positive response that may protect you if the relationship sours.
These precautions won't necessarily prevent you from having to deal with malicious accusations, but they'll at least provide you some evidence with which to defend yourself, and perhaps to persuade police or prosecutors not to attempt to try a case against you.
Finally, always treat your partners with dignity, compassion, and respect. There will always be crazies who lash out ferociously in response to rejection, but you can minimise the chance of tipping someone less crazy over the edge by avoiding behaviour that makes them feel like they've been used or taken advantage of.
I can see where impact play would add a nice extra dimension to the single man's repertoire, but there is no way in god's green earth I would leave physical marks on another person. Just imagine if you had an argument with your play partner, who then calls the police and accuses you of violence. You are toast. The male is automatically at fault in any kind of domestic situation.
I hope you have a good lawyer on speed dial. Or maybe in OZ (IIRC that's where you are) women aren't as crazy in the USA. Here in the states men are afraid to even approach in public, let alone get into impact play, lest they get put on social media blast or worse
You raise an excellent point! If social media is any indication, Australia hasn't yet matched the US on the crazy scale, but #believeallwomen is a prominent theme. Just this week we've had a senator accuse a colleague of sexual assault (although by her own description he just made her feel uncomfortable due to an unwelcome advance), and the media circus around another political staffer who accused a colleague of raping her in their boss's office continues to unfold thanks largely to her decision to try the case in the media rather than honouring well-established legal principles intended to preserve the integrity of the justice system.
On the other hand, we've also recently seen justice prevail where a man facing charges of raping his former girlfriend was acquitted after the court saw the text messages she had sent to both him and her friends shortly after the alleged incident that made it clear that everything had been consensual at the time.
With this in mind, you definitely want to establish a high level of trust before experimenting with more intense forms of impact play (or any other form of BDSM), regardless whether you leave a mark. If there's any chance of facing cross-examination by a journalist or lawyer asking "did you lay a hand on this woman?" you may not have the opportunity to explain the nuances of consent, and in any case, the baying mob doesn't care about facts if they undermine the outrage.
A couple of precautions I'd recommend:
* treat negotiation as foreplay, and perform some of it via text. This helps to build anticipation, and ideally will capture evidence of enthusiastic participation
* if you have any doubt about a partner's enthusiasm to participate, assume you don't have consent.
* people who like to receive bruises and marks usually take pride in them and like to show them off as they fade. It's a little more difficult to claim assault after texting a photo of a bruised buttock with words indicating how much she enjoyed it and can't wait to do it again. Take care with this though, because someone with weaker self-esteem may show the wrong friend, who then shames her into changing her mind about how consensual the experience was.
* Extend aftercare to include checking in the following day - again ideally by text. A message about how much you enjoyed your date and asking how she felt about it can be helpful in eliciting a positive response that may protect you if the relationship sours.
These precautions won't necessarily prevent you from having to deal with malicious accusations, but they'll at least provide you some evidence with which to defend yourself, and perhaps to persuade police or prosecutors not to attempt to try a case against you.
Finally, always treat your partners with dignity, compassion, and respect. There will always be crazies who lash out ferociously in response to rejection, but you can minimise the chance of tipping someone less crazy over the edge by avoiding behaviour that makes them feel like they've been used or taken advantage of.