Welcome, Dear Reader!
A quick note from the author...
I’m delighted to welcome you to this little repository of thoughts and musings on dating and relationships.
A Bit About My Journey
After growing up in a family of boys and attending an all boys school, meeting girls was enough of a challenge, let alone actually getting to know and date them! I clumsily fumbled my way through a few relationships at university, without having any real understanding of how to foster attraction, and leading to a string of heartbreaks and disappointment. Believing that relationships are something that just happen when the time is right, I devoted my time to my career and my hobbies, leading to many years of emotional drought before falling for an intriguing young woman with whom I thought I’d spend the rest of my life.
Fast forward about twelve years, and it became clear that this relationship could last no longer. The spark of romance had burned out to be replaced by companionship, and she finally summoned the courage to do what I could not: declare it over. Suddenly I found myself back in the singles scene, only this time it was different: almost all my friends were in relationships, and I no longer belonged to social groups that provided plentiful opportunities to meet other single people.
I knew from past experience that I needed help to lift my dating game. I discovered a local men’s group focusing on helping single guys take control of their dating lives and develop healthy, long term relationships. My request of Richard, the group’s leader and mentor, was to help me “see the Matrix” in the context of dating, and the revelations that unfolded under his guidance led me to realise just how poorly prepared I, like so many other men, was in terms of my understanding of dating, attraction, and relationships.
Beyond the countless insights into dating skills, courtship rituals, and women’s perspectives on dating and relationships, I also discovered how little I knew (at forty-something) about sex. Once again, I wasn’t alone. It turns out that almost everything most men know about sex we learn from watching porn. Some men even turn to porn deliberately for inspiration, perhaps by watching lesbian porn under the false impression that it is produced for women (spoiler alert: most lesbian porn is also produced for a male audience!). And so began a year of research, asking every woman I met about the two or three things she wishes her lovers had learned before coming to her bed. The answers were as surprising as they were diverse, and so I synthesised them into a course to help men become better lovers, and to help couples find more joy in their intimacy.
As I write this I am three years into a relationship with an amazing woman who shares my passion for understanding relationship dynamics, sexual relationships, and brings the feminine perspective to helping others find and maximise the joy in their own.
What to Expect
This site is all about helping people find lasting, fulfilling relationships. Articles will cover advice for men to take control of their dating life, attract the women they like, and cultivate relationships fuelled by enduring attraction.
We’ve grouped content into two categories:
Dating & Attraction
Sex Ed For Grown Ups
The Sex Ed section focuses on the sexual aspect of relationships, and whilst not pornographic, it may contain language and topics that are not safe for work (NSFW) or junior audiences.
Join the Conversation
We welcome your thoughts and comments about each article, provided that you keep it respectful and abide by the Community Guidelines. We’ll make the extra effort to reply to subscribers, so please register for free now to join the conversation and receive weekly insights!
Where to Begin?
I suggest reading the following articles in sequence:
After that, please feel free to choose your own adventure!